


Night in a Cathedral

by cosimasdreads03



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 14:52:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4104955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosimasdreads03/pseuds/cosimasdreads03
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delphine and Cosima find their way into a cathedral late one night. Delphine explains why she is no longer religious.</p><p>(Set in Season 2, when Cophine was still together.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Night in a Cathedral

They are walking home from DYAD late one night when, to Delphine’s dismay, it begins to rain. “ _Merde,_ ” she says, casting a quick glance at Cosima, who is already shivering. “You should not be out in this weather. We need to find somewhere inside to wait.”

Cosima groans. “Stop worrying. And besides, nothing’s open at this hour.”

But the blonde woman is not to be deterred. She points to a building across the street. “There. That will for certain be open.”

“The cathedral? Seriously? Um, isn’t it kind of weird to –”

“Cathedrals are always open, Cosima,” Delphine says, with a tone of finality that the American knows not to argue with.

And sure enough, the doors open easily, and the two women step inside. The interior is dusty and hushed, lit only by candles at the altar and the moon shining through the stained glass windows.

“Whoa. This is super weird,” Cosima whispers. “Is that, like, a statue of Jesus?” She makes a move to inspect it, but Delphine notices her shivering, so she tugs her to a pew and helps her peel off her wet sweater.

“Nice, Dr. Cormier,” Cosima says, grinning despite her chattering teeth. “The first empty building we find, and you’ve already got me stripping. Too bad it’s a moldy old church, or this would be totally hot.”

Despite herself, Delphine laughs. “ _Bien._ I must do my job well.”

Once their wet clothes are removed, they curl up together in the pew, pressing themselves close to one another.

“How did you know the cathedral would be open?” Cosima asks suddenly. “Did you used to go to church or something?”

“Well, Catholicism is very popular in France.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Delphine sighs. “Yes. I was religious, once upon a time.”

Cosima’s eyes light up with interest. “Oh, wow … like, _how_ religious? Were you actually a real, practicing Catholic?”

Delphine laughs again, her mouth twisting wryly. “Yes, I was a ‘real, practicing Catholic,’ as you call it. My mother was very devout. We said the rosary together every night.”

“Oh, man. That’s like, the real deal.”

Delphine laughs. “I’m guessing you were never religious, then.”

“Nah. My parents were both university professors. Total hippies. They wouldn’t touch any of that stuff with a ten-foot pole.” Cosima pauses, looking curious. “So – what made you stop? Believing, I mean.”

Delphine purses her mouth, thinking. She absentmindedly rubs the corner of one of the pew Bibles before she speaks. “I was nine when my mother was diagnosed with cancer,” she says finally. “When the doctors gave her six months to live, my priest told me to pray for a miracle. My town had a cathedral much like this one. For months, I attended every morning and evening mass to light candles for her. I prayed to my patron saint. I prayed to every saint in the book. But in the end, neither the doctors nor the saints could heal her.”

She swallows, and is silent for a long moment. When she speaks again, it is in a very quiet voice. “After the funeral, I didn’t go home. Instead, I rode my bike to the banks of the Seine. I took off my cross necklace, the last thing my mother had touched in life. And then I threw it into the river.” She looks to the floor. “At that moment, I turned my back on God forever. I would never believe again.”

Cosima reaches out to touch her hand. “I’m sorry.”

The blonde woman shrugs, her mouth in a hard line. “It was a very long time ago.”

They sit quietly for awhile, both of them thinking. Then Cosima speaks again, a little timidly. “Do you miss it? Religion, I mean?”

“Yes.” Delphine sighs. “I miss having all the answers. When I went away to university, I thought that science would give me back those answers. It gave me some, yes, but not all of them. And … I miss having someone to be angry at, someone to blame when things go wrong. Because it just seems that all the people I love, I have to watch them suffer.” She gives a sad smile. “That was why I became a doctor, you know. Watching my mother die. She was in great pain, at the end. The doctors ... they were not well trained. They did not know the best way to help her. I knew that an experienced physician could have made her end easier.”

Cosima lets out a long, shuddering breath. For the first time, she lets her mask of cheerful optimism slip. “Delphine … can you promise me that if – if we don’t find a cure, that I will …”

Delphine sees her fear, and it makes her want to weep. But instead she takes Cosima’s hand, her eyes burning with fire and love and sorrow. “Yes, _ma chérie,_ ” she whispers. “If it comes to that, then you will not feel any pain. I will make sure of it. And I ... I would stay with you, when it happens. I would be there the whole time.”

Cosima swallows, nods, and an odd peace settles over her face. She crawls into Delphine’s arms. They sit together in the pew, listening to each other’s heartbeats, watching the glow of candles at the altar, feeling the warmth of each other’s skin. Cocooned in the small ship of their embrace, they can, for the moment, forget the rocky waves of the sea.


End file.
